Have you ever wanted something so bad but you get stuck between "how can I know if what I'm requesting is my will or God's?" or
"if my prayer is in opposition to God's purpose for my life?"
Now, I don't mean the obvious Right or Wrong decisions, everyone is equipped with a moral compass aka conscience hence, we all know what is expected of us. What i mean here is that which falls within the grey area, the ones that are not necessarily right or wrong.
Why does God say no sometimes even to our selfless requests and "good" prayers?
If there are those things that are ultimately God's will for us, like healing and salvation, why then are people dying without having heard the Goodnews? why are there many innocent sick little children?
How can a faith that feels so pure and right be so lacking in earthly rewards?
Why do wicked people seem to prosper and good people suffer in poverty?
Those are a few of the thoughts that overwhelm me as I write this post?
Is it possible for me or us mere humans to change God's mind about a situation or are we to just leave things as they are and just affirm "thy will be done"
Ever since I was young, I was taught to ask and I'll receive. That God is merciful and kind. Cast all your burdens on to Him/that He won't give you more than you can handle because He understands our frailty and so on, but as I sat on my dorm bed one night and heard my roommate sob and ask "why?" Writhing in her emotional turmoil and saying " but God I begged you to let my brother live, I prayed and fasted and You still let him die, why lord why?" I asked myself Lord why didn't you hear her? It was a good request, he didn't even have a terminal illness, it was a clear case of spiritual warfare, and it seemed to me like You let the forces of darkness win this one.
I remember being sad all day and my friend (another individual) after relating my frustrations to her told me in time you will understand, God's will.
I asked her, what is God's will in this? She went on about how maybe God was preventing something worse by letting this happen and I asked her what could be worse than death?
She didn't respond. I went to bed that night with a heavy heart because I who always had an answer to everything couldn't find words to comfort my roommate. I heard her cry every night while she tried to study for her exams until she finally left two weeks later.
Today, that incident was revisited in a conversation between me and my mom where i found that time has done nothing to shed light or make for better understanding of "Gods Will" ..If anything, I'm a little more thrown than I was back then. But then somewhere during our conversation, my mom says this to me
"....your finite mind cannot fathom the workings of God. Even his seeming foolishness is wiser than the wisdom of men"
She went on to remind me of King Hezekiah. For the benefit of those reading this who are of a different faith, the story is of a king named Hezekiah and how he was told he was to set his house in order for he would not recover from an ailment he had been suffering from. Hezekiah cried bitterly and reminded God all the good he had done in Gods name throughout Israel and how he served God with selfless and whole hearted devotion. Then, God had mercy on him and added fifteen years to his life [2Kings20:1-11].
She (my mom) then asks me; do you know what king Hezekiah did with his 15 years? Before I could say yes she went on, he made a grave error.
He showed the Babylonian envoys that came to pay him a recovery visit all the treasures of Israel and even took them into the holy temple - [years later they came and emptied the the temple and palace of all it treasures]. Also, during his extended lease on life, he gave birth to his only son Manasseh whom the Bible records as the worse king Israel ever had, he undid all the good his father ever did.
Ever inquisitive me couldn't help but ask; "So what exactly was God's purpose in that?" My mom then said to me; "You can ask Him yourself, the veil has been broken".
As I lay on my bed still battling my string of unanswered prayers I heard a voice tell me "God's will and timing is perfect even in death".
4 comments:
Indeed our ways are different. Thanks for sharing! xx
Thank you for reading. 😇
My Mother died, when I was 16. It took years, and the death of an author I liked, to understand how I was praying wrong. I was asking for a "healing," wanting recovery. I should have been praying for the "healing" that was "best for them." I.e., an end to pain and suffering (aka death, if need be). Most "prayers" are selfish, or asking for the outcome *we* want, not what is best. So, we get "disappointed."
That's an amazing thought there " praying for the healing that's best for them" God knows best and we must learn to trust him. Thank you so much Mr Daniels for sharing that insight. God bless you.
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