Nigerian mothers and the fear of having that sex talk with their daughters

In an era when young people can easily find out about sexual matters on the internet and tend to prefer discussing sex on social networks and with their friends, study reports that to avoid risky sexual behavior it is better for teens to

have taboo-free talks with their parents, particularly mothers. Even American author Vincent Guilamo-Ramos agrees that many parents are concerned about the false belief that if they bring up the subject of sex, their children will be encouraged to be sexually active, and that some teens also fear "the talk."

I realize how awkward this may seem, especially here in Africa/Nigeria. I mean I do not even broach the subject of sex with my parents (especially my mom). whenever or if ever i have a sex related issue, i seek out my all time confidante...google. whats worse, i'm in my thirties.

I grew up in a very Nigerian home, you know the ones right? Therefore, whenever I had one or two cases of the "bees and butterflies", my folks were the last people i ran to. Least of all my mom (even my dad could not talk to my mom on sex related issues....she's Kogi) don't get me wrong, my mom was/is an awesome mother, but giving sex advice or being patient with me and my siblings has never been one of her strong suits but i digress. Point is, mine is not a rare case, it is very common in Nigerian homes for parents to sweep sex topics with their kids under the rug with some backward analogy that either scars them or makes them ever more curious. Countless research has proven that that approach is very off. i barely got any sex talk or advice from the folks although i turned out okay needless to say, i know of, have seen and still see cases of teen pregnancies.
Simply put, communication and love are key. You can love your kids all you want but failure to communicate with them is a recipe for disaster and vice versa. I even am of the belief that love plays a bigger role. Be it a boy or girl child, deprived of love, they'd seek it elsewhere and since time immemorial, after a declaration of love, what next? A consummation of that love of course. And shoot me if i'm making this up, forget the French, nobody declares love faster than a Nigerian man (wonder why thats not in the Guinness book yet). Toasters open more with "baby i love you" more times than "hi, my name is psycho". Imagine this being said to an adolescent girl who has read one too many Mills and Boons paper backs and has been waiting for Tall dark and handsome who's really just tall dirty and creepy.

All said and done, expressing love and good communication on sexual matters, particularly between mothers and daughters, has a protective effect on them. Love your kids. Communicate with your kids. I look forward to my daughter telling me she may be interested in a boy in her class and i handling it like the enlightened educated mother i know i will be. Getting the boy's details and stopping by in a dark alley to threaten the 6yr old to stay away from my baby girl or i will cut him. what!! I'm part Kogi remember. i kid.